Finally a home~ Private

She sighed. "That doesn't matter Joshua... I lost another baby..." She said, trying not to cry. "I lost anther baby... I'm not meant to be a mom..."

Joshua shook his head. "Baby, don't say that. Look..if push comes to shove, I'll move to England with you." he said, knowing it was a drastic move but, she was happier there.

She shook her head. "That won't change anything." she said. "I don't care where we live, as long as I'm with you. But I want a baby... I want to start a family. I guess I'm not allowed that simple request." she said, turning her head away from him and letting her tears fall.

"Marley, we have to make sure we won't starve nor the baby will starve. Babies cost money....I'll have to work like a beast and I won't be able to be up to help you, I'll always be knocked out when I get home...I want to be there every step of the way, let's just wait til you at least graduate college or something, when you make more money than me." Joshua explained, kissing her softly and wiping her tears away.

"I understand that and that was our original plan... I just... I lost another baby Joshua!" she said, crying harder.

Joshua shrugged. "And? That's nothing to me. I want a baby that looks just like you, gorgeous and gentle. We will have a baby, we just need to get to an ideal stability and we'll be fine. I promise. After all this, I bet we'll have a baby in our arms soon enough."

"You don't understand. I'm it's mom... I'm suppose to take care of it always. When it's inside me, it's safe. But, the two baby's I've been pregnant with have both died. I can't protect them." she said, loooking at him. She never thought that he could say that same thing about him. About how he's not able to protect her.

Joshua felt partial to that. For some reason, he can never seem to keep her safe, especially when pregnant. Was it just coincidence? "Then...I'll drive you around from now on. Ok?" he said, tears brimming his eyes.

She looked over at him, reaching her casted arm up to wipe his tears away with her finger tips. "I just realized that you can't seem to protect me... Just like how I can't keep our babies alive..." she said softly.

"Meaning?" Joshua asked, now wondering if Marley was about to blame him for their tragedies.

"That you're feeling the same thing I am." She said softly, looking at him, her eyes red with tears.

"Don't do this again. What, you gonna say we can't be together? That we can't have babies, ever?" Joshua said, now feeling ridiculous.

She looked at him, hurt. She shook her head. "I didn't mean that..." she closed her eyes, sighing.

"Then what?" Joshua asked, a bit confused. With all that was happening, anyone could end up confused easily.

"Nothing." she said, her eyes still closed. "Forget I said it."

"No come on, just say it. I'm sorry it's just....All this is a lot to handle." Joshua muttered, kissing her cheek.

she sighed, opening her eyes. "I understand how you feel about not being able to protect me. All the time, I end up in the hospital with no baby... I'm not able to protect my baby's you're not able to protect me. Iunderstand." she said.

"Not protecting the baby doesn't mean or even excuse me from not being able to protect you, my wife. I....I'm sorry for being so careless." Joshua apologized, shaking his head and closing his eyes as he bit his lip hard.

Marley reached up and ran her finger over his lip. "It's okay. I'm alive... I'll be oaky..." she said.

Joshua nodded, sighing. "Yeah, and I'll be here every step of the way." he said, smiling and kissing her finger.

She nodded, dropping her hand. "Good." she said softly. "I'm going to need help with my knee." she sighed.

"Yeah, you'll need surgery and probably therapy...but I'll be there." Joshua said, smiling and winking.

She smiled, nodding. "Good. I'm gonna need you."

"Yeah, and I'm going to need you to be strong for me." he replied, smiling more. "Anyways, go and watch some TV, I'll call mom and your grandma." he said, getting up and taking out his cellphone.

She nodded, closing her eyes. She felt more like sleeping more than doing anything else.