A Song and a Rhyme

((Q_Q I-I'm tearin up!))

That was it. It felt like a bullet went straight through his heart. Here he thought it was because of him, because of his stupidity and jealousy. No, it was because he was careless and could've ruined her life (according to how she felt, how she wasn't ready). He understood somewhat, but to think that they could've had a child conceived, made his heart ache. He would've taken the little girl or boy, but...now, he wasn't so sure. He wouldn't have made it as far as he did if he had a kid, unless he worked his ass off. He looked away, his hair covering his eyes. He didn't know what to say really. It hurt enough that she trusted Simon with this than him, the father of this supposed conceived child of theirs. He remained silent.

(Of course. I am the best. x3)

She could tell herself that it was simply the fact that he drove her crazy that had lead to their breakup but she knew the truth and now so did he. How could any friendship ever blossom after she had told him her secret that she had held for so long? People always said that once you told a secret a weight was lifted off of their shoulders. Why did she feel worse? Mandy couldn't look at Nathaniel, and she knew he wasn't looking at her. How could he? After several more minutes of silence, she buckled and looked over to him. "Daniel..." she said, her voice soft. "Please, I'm begging you. Say something."

Nathaniel breathed silently and looked up at Mandy, his eyes glazed over. He didn't know how to feel really. Betrayed? Too late. Angry? No point. Still, now he just wanted to punch the crap out of Simon. Not only did he agree to go with her to get rid of said child, but, he kissed her at her lowest. It was even worse than taking advantage. He sighed, smiling weakly, shaking his head. "It was a long time ago....So what? Maybe it was better that we didn't end up with a child we didn't want or were ready for. Hell, I think that would've made you miserable..." he said, getting up and walking over to the couch, sitting down and staring at the window. It soon began to rain, much to his dismay. This was the one time he didn't enjoy the rain.

((yes yes, of course xD))

"Daniel..." she said, her voice wary. It was one of the uncomfortable situations where a person claimed that they were alright and that they understand when it was obvious that they didn't. Taking in a sharp breath she got up from her seat and cautiously followed him into the living room. "Daniel..." she repeated, her voice stopping short of what she was going to say when there was a loud crack of lightening. The lights went out and Mandy cursed her luck, wondering if God was up in Heaven laughing at her right then, punishing her for her sins. Shaking her head she leaned against the couch and placed her hand in her hands. "Nevermind." she mumbled.

Nathaniel sighed, getting up and going to the kitchen to light candles. "What a day, eh?" he muttered, setting up the lit candles afterwards all along the counter carefully. "I'm sorry, really. I don't know what came over me when I came back from my parents over the weekend. I just saw red is all, and unfortunately you got caught up in it." he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, really. But any ways, it's in the past. Gotta admit though, hurts like hell..." he admitted, chuckling weakly as he sat down at the counter again.

"We really do have the worst timing ever." she mumbled, looking out the window as lightening cracked across the sky. "We broke up just a week before midterms and I ended up bombing my calculus and had to beg, beg, beg my teacher for a make up. And now we're stuck in your house during a vicious thunder storm with the power out. Why is that?" Mandy grumbled, getting up from the couch and stepping into the light so that she could see him. Sighing, she nodded her head. "It isn't exactly something that I would say to someone who I'm trying to cheer up. The truth can really... really be a bitch sometimes." she sighed, taking a seat at the counter.

Nathaniel chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, we do. Ironically enough." he said, getting up and walking over to her. He sighed, staring at her. "You're gonna hate me for this.." he muttered, not giving her a chance to even question him as he pushed her gently against the wall and kissed her softly. If they had such bad timing, he may as well boot it off with even more bad timing. He already was expecting her to slap him, so he closed his eyes tightly. The truth may be a bitch, but he was going to finally get some good luck, besides the good luck from his career.

She should have forseen it happening, the way he was starting to edge closer, the advantage of being alone in the dark. Mandy could see the whites of his eyes and was only able to shoot him a warning glare before he pressed his lips against hers. "Daniel..." she groaned, defiant and trying to push him away. Up against the wall she knew she was vulnerable and also that he was stronger than her and could keep her there against her will. And yet he wasn't. She knew that all she needed was to put a little more effort into it and he would move away. But she didn't. Closing her eyes she gave in and kissed him back, being a woman and having a weakness for candle light and the forbidden passion of an old flame. Damned woman with her romantic urges.

Nathaniel pulled away by just an inch, breathing shallow and resting his head on hers. "Why didn't you kick me or something?" he asked, grinning a bit. Hedidn't think he won, not really. It wasn't a contest any more of who did better or not. It was obvious that he liked the flames she invoked in him, that anger, the reason that he wanted to so badly prove her wrong. Still, now it looked like he as about to burn and fall apart. With how she smelled so sweet, it was hard to ignore. Soon lightning began to appear, including thunder. The rain only seemed to pound harder against his house.

Mandy scowled as she watched his lips arch upward in a smile. She knew that he wasn't exactly being cocky with the fact that he had gotten away with kissing her, but rather that he was amused with her and their current situation. Pushing him away from her she crossed her arms over her chest and looked down. "I don't know." she finally answered after several minutes of silence, save for the rain pelting against the house. "I didn't expect it." Maybe I wanted it. She shuddered at her private thought and continued to look away from him, trying to study the tile pattern of his floor once more in the dark.

Nathaniel smiled a bit and proceeded with his advancements. He couldn't stop, he knew that something was there. Something between them, right now. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into and embrace, his head now resting on her shoulder. "Tell me even more lies....Why won't you admit we still have something there? Is Simon that much better than me?" he asked, obviously now jealous, but not like he was before. He knew she was swaying his way.

She groaned as she felt her body make contact with him, his warm breath against her cheek. I want to bind you. I want to hold you so tight that you break. Her cheeks flushed at the romantic thoughts that she had heard girls go gaga over in school and had laughed over when she had been younger. "He's much better." she growled in his ear, still fighting back her urges with a growing reluctance. "Don't think that you've got the best of me now just because we're vulnerable and alone in the dark, Daniel." Mandy grunted, breathing in sharply as she tried to push away, ignoring the familiar scent.

Nathaniel grunted, holding her tighter in his arms. "Stop, just stop fighting." he told her, turning her around and holding her once more in a lover's embrace. "I just want to prove to you....I've changed. You know that Simon isn't your guy. He's not. He was just a filler..til,I got my head out of my ass." he continued, holding her chin and making her face him. He stared into her eyes. "Tell me, tell me you don't ever want to see me again or let me near your lips ever again, that's only if you seriously feel that way." he challenged, staring and caressing her cheek. They were so close that it ached, and it burned his insides and made his heart skip. He wanted her back.

Mandy whimpered as she felt him hold her in place, now obviously more determined to hold her attention than he had been before. She glared up at him, angry with him for putting her in this situation and also with herself for not noticing the warning signs before she had agreed to come home with him. Her cheeks were stained a soft red and she wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, her throat feeling chalky and dry. "I-I never want..." she grunted, announcing each syllable, painstakingly taking her time in speaking. "I never want to see you..." Lightening cracked, illuminating the room and she growled, hiding her face against her arms as her eyes remained unadjusted to the temporary light.

Nathaniel chuckled lightly, smiling. It wasn't out of victory nor was he even acting snobby. He just knew her too well. "Just let him go, come back to me. What's holding you back so much? You know I wouldn't dare hurt you..ever. That's the last thing on my mind." he promised, whispering in her ear. He had no idea why she fought her feelings off so much. It hurt, deeply that she was fighting so hard for..Simon. "Just give in....I'll make sure you won't regret it.." he added, kissing her face and sighing. "I love you....I still do, so much..." he admitted, closing his eyes.

She was quiet as he spoke, only wincing when she felt his lips against her cheek. "I have someone waiting for me at home. My home." she whispered. Looking away from him, she shook her head. "Yeah, so Simon doesn't necessarily get my blood boiling like you do, past or present but he's a good man. This isn't fair to him..." She should have been home with Simon, picking out the font for the nameplates, or stumbling around with him in the dark, looking for candles or making a fire in the fireplace. "I fight so hard because I love him." Mandy whispered.

As Nathaniel listened to what Mandy had to say, he sighed. Really? He either just wasn't a good romantic or...damn. "You honestly can tell me you love him? You sure it wasn;t because he took you in? Gave you things I couldn't?" he said, scoffing and letting go but still sticking close to her. "I just want you back. I was in a dark place then...that's why I went so far as to change my name...My dad..he's a bastard, and I did all I could to make sure he would never hurt my mom again. " he explained, then sighed and backed away. There's..no reason for you to give me a chance. Huh? He's just better than me? Plain and simple?"

"Why am I the criminal here?" she asked, her voice incredulous. This scenario didn't make any sense. Why was she the bad one for not giving in, for essentially not becoming an adulterer? Where was the justice in this. "Life is complicated. Feelings are complicated. I can't hurt Simon- I won't hurt Simon." She sighed. "What we had was something very special and maybe you were my true love..." her voice trailed off and she shook her head. "But maybe Simon's the one who can bury that alive and help me start anew."

And just like that, it felt like he had been gutted with a knife. His heart skipped beats and his head hurt like a migraine he never had. Were. Maybe. Those words truly cut him off at his train of thought. What else could he say. Thunder continued to boom and lightning striked outside. It seemed the weather was only getting worse, like his temper. Still, he would be the better man. He couldn't be an idiot. "You're not a criminal, but jesus..you know? Here you go again, you're just defending him because you don't want to hurt him! You're pushing me away for good in just a matter of days for him! What about us? What we had!" he said, gesturing as if he was fighting to just keep her from deciding to walk out his door. "I....I still love you! So damn much, no one has been able to compare to you, not even close! You were the love of my life and I screwed up just like I did back in High School." he continued, then walked close to her and gently nudged her to look up at him. "Give us this one night....and I'll disappear....Forever." he almost begged, kissing her softly before taking her back into his arms and turning his misery into passion through the lip lock.

Guess..this is dead again...oi...

It all felt like an overly dramatic soap opera, something that never happened in real life. And yet it was. Her high school sweetheart was asking her- begging her- for one last night together before she married Simon. Before she could even so much as open her mother he had gathered her in his arms and was kissing her again. She tried to fight back at first, her hands balled into fists, pounding at his chest. But Daniel was mad, half crazy over memories from what had been so long ago. And maybe she was too. The thought of having one last night with the man who'd had her very first night. The person who she had shared all of her insecurities with, all of her hopes and dreams. Mandy groaned softly, trying to push away, though it was a very feeble attempt. I'm sorry, Simon. She thought, a tear rolling down her cheek. It was just so hard to deny what felt right. Crying out softly she wrapped her arms around him, her fingers entangling in his hair as she kissed him back.

(And it's miraculously alive again.)

Finally his advances had won. However, feeling her tears fall and press against his face as he pulled away and went at her neck had tugged at his heart. "I....I'm sorry about this.." he said, gulping and slowly pulling away to look at her. "I have to be honest...I don't think I would ever be able to fully disappear...Not forever anyway." he chuckled weakly, staring into her eyes. His eyes were full of pain and desire for her. He didn't know if he could stop as his hands had advanced for him. The truth was, yes, he was mad over memories from the past, but that's when things made sense. He had spent nights since he last spoke with Mandy thinking about how he could deal with these feelings. They rose and only crushed his heart as he realized he would soon lose her if he didn't try, one last time.

"Of course you won't," she whispered softly, looking away from him and wiping at a few tears. "You take and take and take and I'm stupid enough to keep giving to you." Mandy knew what she was doing was wrong just like Daniel himself knew it and yet she was at a stage where she knew she couldn't take it back- where she didn't want to take it back. "I try so hard to be good to the people that I'm with but I always end up messing things up. When I thought we were going to have a baby I was ready to have an abortion behind your back and now I'm cheating on Simon." she smiled wistfully. "I'm pretty sure I won't be going to Heaven." She shook her head and cupped his chin in her hand. "Finish what you started.." she murmured, kissing him hard on the mouth.

Hearing the words "Finish what you started" was all he needed for now. They would deal with the emotional stuff later. However, to even listen to her say that all he did was take and take or how she was stupid to let him, was something that struck close to his heart. It hurt. Like a bitch to say the least. He kissed her back however, growling as he pressed her against the wall again, not at all thinking of backing off again like he did. She gave him the ok. Right? He shouldn't feel..terrible. Nathaniel shuddered as he felt the fire being spurred, growing ever more dominant within him. If she ever were to stop him in the middle, he wasn't sure he would oblige. He pulled away from her lips and pinned her hands up above her head by the wrist, panting as he said, "You know that once the clothes come off...there may not be a way to stop...right?" he asked, intent on taking her now.

Mandy grunted as she was pushed against the wall and looked up at him with an amazed expression as he pinned her hands above her head. "I know." she answered, her voice almost taunting. "Do you?" Mandy was coy and amused, her cheeks flushed as she looked away from him and at the rain pelting on the window. She was through with thinking, tired with fighting back.She knew that there were consequences to her actions and she would face them later. Now she could only follow her own instincts, do what her own body was telling her was right. She was sinking underneath all of the weight of the world and right then she couldn't have given any less of a damn. "Just make me not regret it." she whispered, challenging him.